Spoilers ahead for the Season 9 premiere of The Walking Dead.
The premiere of a new season of television should be enticing. It should be exciting. It should pull viewers in and make them want to watch more.
"A New Beginning," the premiere of the ninth season of The Walking Dead, did none of this.
Like most episodes of The Walking Dead, Sunday's premiere was mostly boring, entirely too predictable, and devoid of any stand-out moments or performances. Perhaps this is because the show has gone on for too long. Perhaps this is because the show is afraid to break from the formula it established in Season 1.
Season 9 sees the gang building up their communities in the aftermath of the war against Negan and the Saviors at the end of Season 8, the calm after the storm. Corn crops are growing, people are settling down again now that Negan is in jail, and zombies continue to get killed left and right.
When Rick and Michonne are shown riding through Washington D.C. on horseback, carving a path for a much larger crew looking for supplies, there's a glimmer of excitement. As they enter the Smithsonian National Museum of American History, they walk over a glass floor which looks down upon a shambling mass of zombies, just hanging out in the basement for some reason.
Performances in the latest episode of The Walking Dead were mostly devoid of humanity
It's painfully obvious that this is a Chekhov's gun situation, and sure enough a few minutes later the glass begins to crack as the crew leads some heavy equipment over it. A small section of the glass breaks and in falls Ezekiel, but luckily he has a rope tied around him so it's just a classic Walking Dead close call.
A bit later on the road back to Alexandria, Ezekiel proposes to Carol, which Carol rejects with all the emotion of a mother playfully scolding a child asking permission to eat a cookie before dinner. And Ezekiel responds in kind.
As has been the case for years, the performances in the latest episode of The Walking Dead were mostly devoid of humanity. Every character is so one-dimensional that it's a chore to care about them.
Rick continues to be his regular gruff self. Daryl continues to broodingly ride his motorcycle. Michonne continues to not say much and slice zombies with her sword.
Daryl and Michonne amongst the Saviors.
Image: Jackson lee davis/amc
A brand new character, Ken, is introduced in this episode. We learn nothing about him until a bunch of zombies come upon the group after Ezekiel's rejection and he decides that he has to go untie one of the horses while everyone else is running away. Ken, betrayed by his love of horses, is quickly bitten by a zombie.
It's one of the few scenes that stuck with me because Ken does not move when bitten. He doesn't try to wrench away from the zombies, even though he has legs. He just stands there and takes the bite, which unfortunately is a pretty common sight in the series — people just standing still, usually screaming, and being actively bitten. It's not only bad acting, it's poor direction.
And then the spooked horse kicks Ken square in the abdomen and we watch, with no attachment to this new character whatsoever, as he dies, and then his parents, who we have also just met, grieve.
The Walking Dead has been predictable for years
The only thoroughly interesting plot development of the episode was the attempted assassination of Maggie by Gregory and one of his goons. Although the ambush could be seen coming a mile away, it was at least a bit exciting and felt more emotionally charged as it led to the hanging of Gregory.
The only real groundwork that was laid for the rest of the season, which will include Rick's departure from the show, is that there are some Saviors who are still loyal to Negan. There will surely be another power struggle, like the dozen other power struggles that have popped up previously, with the good guys eventually winning out.
I would love to be wrong about my prediction that this season will be more exciting and different than others, but we're nine seasons in. The Walking Dead has been predictable for years, hitting the same exact story beats in episode after episode, where viewers are treated to dozens of minutes of monotony punctuated with the occasional close call or death of a brand new character.
It's rare that anything actually moving happens. So far Season 9 is no exception.
