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Disney+'s 'Secret Society of Second-Born Royals' is a dull 'X-Men' knockoff with an identity crisis

Dull is an understatement.
Disney+'s 'Secret Society of Second-Born Royals' is a dull 'X-Men' knockoff with an identity crisis

The narrator of Secret Society of Second-Born Royals opens with a line that so badly wants to be cool: "You know the fairytale about the princess waiting for some brave prince to come and save her? Yeah, this is not that kind of story." But remember all the movies about a group of sparky superheroes who learn to use their powers and save the day? Yeah, it is exactly that kind of story, only this one doesn't have the thrilling special effects, layered plots, or compelling characters of its big-budget counterparts.

The straight-to-Disney+ release follows Sam, a modern-day European princess who wants to do something that matters and doesn’t understand why her soon-to-be-queen older sister (Ashley Liao) is so devoted to the kingdom. So naturally, Sam plays loud rock music with her best friend to a tiny group of protesters who want to tear down the monarchy for no clearly defined reason other than she’s rebellious. Welp, her continued shenanigans end her up in jail, and to tone down her wild side, her mom (Elodie Yung), the queen, sends her to summer school. Only when she shows up, she realizes it’s not summer school and actually a Kingsman-style superhero training camp for all the second-born royals who have superpowers they were previously unaware of. Sam discovers that her powers come in the form of heightened senses and that her mom is in on the undercover operation.

The unfinished ending begs for a second movie. Unfortunately, the characters aren't likable enough to deserve a follow-up.

She is put into a group with five other students including the cocky Tuma (Niles Fitch), who has the power to make people do whatever he wants; Matteo (Faly Rakotohavana), a shy kid who can control bugs; Roxana (Olivia Deeble), a social media influencer who can turn invisible; and January (Isabella Blake Thomas), an outgoing girl who can take on other people’s superpowers. They’re all shown how to harness their powers by James (Skylar Astin), a second-born royal himself who is supposed to be someone they look up to but is actually kind annoying and constantly tricking the teens to teach them lessons.

So they're not all learning to use their powers just for fun, right? Of course there's a bad guy to battle. We don't know anything about him until toward the end, but we do get varied clips of him making his prison escape and crafting his plans throughout the film. Unfortunately, he's not that interesting and he's also not that menacing.

It all ends with a final confrontation between this villain and the superhero royals on the day of Sam's sister's coronation. But rather than fighting him at the big event, the camera continually cuts away to the gang taking him on at nearby castle locations, which keeps the stakes from ever feeling high. This has the movie fizzling away rather than going out with a bang, which isn't ideal because Disney clearly wants to make a sequel. (The company hasn't publicly said anything of the sort, but the unfinished ending begs for a second movie.) Unfortunately, the characters aren't likable enough and the anticipation isn't big enough to deserve a follow-up.

Disney+'s 'Secret Society of Second-Born Royals' is a dull 'X-Men' knockoff with an identity crisis

Image: disney+

The biggest problem with Secret Society of Second-Born Royals is that it doesn't know what it wants to be. Half the time it's trying to be a royal X-Men knockoff, but it doesn't have the special effects or big-budget action sequences to back it up. It's filled with obviously fake bugs (thanks to Matteo's powers) and B-level fight sequences. And though it wants to be an international royal romp, the limited locations of the Canadian university at which was filmed keeps the story feeling small.

The other half of the time, Secret Society of Second-Born Royals aims to be a 2000s-style Disney Channel Original movie, like Camp Rock or Cow Belles, but it lacks the charm that made those films work despite their cheesy humor and made-for-TV quality. Instead, the characters and their backgrounds come off as bland.

Just because she pushes back against the rules and throws on a T-shirt that says "feminist" doesn't make her an empowered female protagonist.

Sam's family, friends, and foes are cut-and-dried, with little individuality. Most of them can be boiled down to a single beat and are frustratingly uncomplicated. And while Sam is played by the charismatic Peyton Elizabeth Lee, the star of the Disney Channel series Andi Mack, she, too, feels like a fine but generic heroine.

Sam might embrace her powers by the end of the movie, but whether she went through any actual emotional growth is questionable. Sure, she figures out her true self. And yeah, I guess she also teams together with her fellow second-born royals. But does she actually learn anything? Is the entire point of her journey as simple as "she continued to be herself but now also gets along with the people in her life better?"

Sam's nonexistent character development makes her difficult to relate to. Just because she pushes back against the rules and throws on a T-shirt that says "feminist" (not kidding) doesn't automatically make her an empowered female protagonist. And the sooner Disney can realize this, the sooner we'll get films starring more genuine, layered, complicated female characters instead of these artificially contrived role models that fit the mold of what the company seems to think a strong female character should look like. (You are also guilty of creating "empowered" women with fake flaws, live-action Mulan).

In theory, a princess-superhero mashup is a good idea. I would have loved to see a film with the superhero qualities of Sky High and the misfit royal fun of The Princess Diaries. But in Secret Society of Second-Born Royals' case, there's a lot of zing and little substance. It has powerful teens, a royal setting, and a secret mission — but if you peel back this fun setup, you'll find a film that's uneven in tone and empty in both message and story.

Secret Society of Second-Born Royals is now streaming on Disney+.

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